Crunch time

Not too much to report this week, but suffice to say things have got to change. For the sake of my sanity, health, self respect, confidence and all the people and things I hold dear, my situation has to take a turn for the better. It is a daunting task and won't be easy but I have put the wheels in motion. It may be a quick process - it may not, but I'm not ready for a pre-mid life crisis just yet...I haven't got the time or patience to be honest.

A quick round-up of the week that was, but wasn't exactly: Worked long and hard all week - achieved less in some areas and more in others. Love working in Flash - I find it more calming and satisfying compared to some other stuff I'm doing. Made some careless typos in a brochure (too stressed and busy to concentrate) and felt stupid about it when they were pointed out. Cancelled on Mark on Wednesday due to lateness of working - got a bit knacked about it (we'll re-arrange soon). Met Mike for a drink on Friday - put the world to rights as usual. Met a load of peeps for dinner at Scoffers in Clapham last night - splendido catch up. Good fun, average food, smooth brandy. 

Today: getting an hour less in bed but enjoying the sunshine, putting the wheels in motion, listening to XFM, doing odd jobs, reading the papers, playing guitar (new FX pedals in the post - Boss DR1 and Digital Pan/Tremolo - niiice), hopefully going for a long walk when Caroline gets back and making my famous chilli burgers for dinner tonight.

Book: Eye Mind - biography about 13th Floor Elevators, who are often referred to as the pioneers of the psychedelic sound - enjoying muchly and review to come soon.

Tunes: Kraftwerk - Maximum/Minimum; Maps - We can create; Chris Morris - Blue Jam; Butthole Surfers - Locust Abortion Technician.

Film: Lions for Lambs - Great film set in the very near future and very recent past surrounding the war on terror. Viewed from several different groups, so it's the usual life intertwining thing, but done very well. Directed and co-starring Robert Redford with Tom Cruise playing a hard-ball republican government bod and Meryl Streep as a conscious ridden reporter. Recommended - 8/10.

Mantras: Fortune favours the brave. 

Recharging north of the border

This will hopefully be a more cheery post than last weeks, though I am still soul searching and questioning myself over many things - I don't like the person I have turned into recently and am trying to make a-mends, but not beat myself up too much about it. 

We lost more of the team this week - some great talent who will be sadly missed. One chap in particular has gone to an amazing job working on Sony's SingStar on-line song store - a dream job for the lad and I wish him all the best. In true miser fashion the company is trying to find ways to cut corners and save money, so much so that we currently have no replacement and our websites could technically grind to a halt. Utterly unprofessional and ludicrous of the management, but somehow we will manage - some quick calls to agencies are in order.

A long awaited 4 day weekend was upon us, so C and I flew up to Scotland to visit her family (my lovely in-laws). They live in the beautiful part of the world that is Moniave in Dumfries & Galloway. Remote, cold, wet (next to the wettest place in the UK) but stunning - the perfect place to wind down, take stock and recharge the batteries. C's old man is a prize winning beef farmer with a large herd, plus sheep and a scattering of goats. His beef is without doubt the best I have ever tasted (a tall order considering we pigged out at Goucho's last weekend)! He farms Galloway cattle - big, butch, black hairy beasts, that are rarer (no pun intended) than the commercially popular Aberdeen Angus. Alastair and Clare (my parents in-law) always make me feel so welcome and we were thoroughly spoilt. Lots of chilling, epic paper reading sessions, walks in the country, great wine and the best food - a top time was had by all. I even bottle fed some early spring born lambs...which was nice. C's younger sisters were both there as well, so it was a real family home-coming and little Muffin (cheeky Cocker Spaniel) was so pleased to have Uncle Simon back for a few days. 3 days went far too quickly and before we knew it we were back at Prestwich Airport waiting to fly on to the metropolis. Ryan Air can kiss my ass by the way - charging us an obscene amount for an extra 7 kilos in our luggage (2 legs of lamb kindly donated by C's mum) - crooks. Their online 'web booking charge' is a swizz as well - surely administration doesn't exist with web bookings?! I'm slow roasting one of the legs of lamb tonight so it will taste all the more juicy at the price. *Update - I am the slow roasted lamb king...heaven*.

Just finished (and speed read) a great book - Kill Your Friends by John Niven. A fictional story of a high-powered A&R man in the mid-90s. One of life's true bastards, seriously lacking in moral fibre and living a life of excess at other's expense. I loved every minute (not that I related to or empathised with him at all). A great insight into the back-stabbing, power-hungry, fickle world of the music industry and how someone who seems to live the utopia life lads mags write columns inches about - you know the party has to end at some point, but not in such a spectacular fashion. You feel not one ounce of pity, but can't help fascinating into such a rarified way of life. 8/10

Tunes of the week: Rodrigo y Garbriela (latin guitar flavoured/percussion loveliness), Elbow - The seldom seen kid (welcome back lads - you get never cease to amaze me), MGMT (trippy, squirky, harmony driven...er...thingy).

Meat of the week: Gourlay farmed leg of lamb!

Until next time...

Perspectives and vanishing points

It's strange how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own crap and loose perspective of what is really important in life: Family, friends, loved ones, companionship, compassion, empathy, charity to name but a few. Last week was a disappointing one for me, but no one died, no one really lost anything that can't be replaced, no one's life really changed. There are more important things in this world, but peer pressure, the media and others dictate that it is the be all and end all for a happy life. Bollocks - sure we all need money to live, but there is so much more to it than that. Career means many different things to different people. I was always taught that it was very important which created pressure, but also motivated me, but at the end of the day is it only a bloody job. Admittedly I am lucky to do something I enjoy (even though I don't enjoy the environment I work in or respect the company I work for that much), but if  I could provide for my family, we had enough time for each other, hobbies and interests, and was content with myself I would be happy doing something else. Some of the happiest, wisest and most intelligent people I have the pleasure to meet in my 35 short years have shunned said pressures and achieved in other ways much more admirable in my eyes: Inspiring parents and teachers; Thought provoking artists; Selfless charity workers; Fearless moral activists; Confiding friends with infinite patience, compassion and wisdom. I would be proud to class myself among these.

What I'm getting round to is this: Maybe recently I've missed the point and have become quite insular about what really matters and selfish in my priorities - can I blame it on the rat-race and living in London. I think not, but some of the conversations at work make it all seem like a competition to stroke egos and congratulate material possession. Family and friends have always come first (even though I have been more absent in the years of late), but much of my waking time is spent pushing myself to make money for someone else, whilst pulling in a livable wage for myself and my wife. I don't have children (though I hope we will soon) so automatically have much less responsibility and worry than many others. In fact as much as I moan about long hours I probably have more free time than I realise and still procrastinate. I got to know someone better this weekend than I did before. The struggles she has had in life and continues to have made me so respectful of her and what she has achieved. You are an inspiring individual and I hang my head in shame at my current self-centered attitude to life. Just look at how many 'I's' are in these two paragraphs to confirm this! This ramble is not searching for absolution of any kind - it is just a recognition of values and truths I have always believed in, that have become blurred as of late. Hopefully it will help me focus into a better person and make a valuable contribution to the world as human being. 80 people died in Tibet today in the name of free speech, religion and equality. In a newspaper on the same day Peaches Geldof was moaning about champagne. What the hell is going on?

After all that my weekend reportage seems all a bit trivial and irrelevant, but here's is a quick round of another week that was: 

Work: Busy, stimulating, stressful, kerned, pre-flighted and actionscripted.

 

Drinks with friends: Heather...lovely evening and good drop of Ardmans.

  

Purchases: Sennheiser CX500 headphones...I hear clearly now the hiss has gone.

 

Visitors:  Stu and Sarah...top evening at Goucho Grill and various poncey Soho cocktail bars...great to see you guys and safe journey home.

Tunes: Duffy - Rockferry...No really, she has an incredible voice and the song writing is brilliant, also REM's free dukebox CD in this month's Q Magazine - check out Christopher Reilly's genius interpretation of Radiohead's Paranoid Android. 

Book: Ska'd for life by Horace Panter...excellent. Best muso-biography I've read for ages. A personable, but dry witted story-teller and great journey of young music fan into Ska mega star. Also, I learnt oodles about a genre and label (2-Tone) I knew little about. 

Signing off.

That's grand

1000 posts - thanks for reading and hope you come back soon. 

Thankyou please.

Hey, hey, 16k

A wonderful homage to those halcyon days of 16-64k gaming. Ah...brings a nostalgic lump to the throat and reminiscence of wonderful lost weeks of childhood, worn-out return keys and thumb blisters. God bless B3TA.

http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/

Saul Wars

My old mucker Mark has just sent me this amazing link. It encompasses two of my greatest passions and admirations - The pioneering graphic designer Saul Bass and the genius that is Star Wars. Enjoy...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=z25t-PQDn5A

Strip Clubs and Conifers

Before I waffle on about anything else I must mention Wookiepedia. How did I not hear about this amazing site sooner. The name says it all - an enclyclopedic vault of everything Star Wars and a damn good one too. I can see much net time being spent here in the future - check it out (if you haven't already, and if you have why didn't you tell me eh)?!

This week was one of surprises and contrasts. A year of very hard work, sacrifice and compromise appears to have been disregarded by the powers that be at work when it came to the proverbial crunch. I am not alone in this disappointment (in fact most of my little team are fuming), but it still smarts. The usual excuses were given: impending recession (fair enough but the company still made a colossal profit didn't they?); there wasn't much in the pot this year (oh really, again...that's a coincidence?); we've all got to tighten our belts (I have and I can't breath it's so tight)! What a great way to motivate people who are already disillusioned and feel taken advantage of. I'm not going to dwell on this and don't want to come across as ungrateful as I do count my blessings, but this was a big kick in the knackers for a team who give 110% one hundred percent of the time, deliver on projects way beyond expectations and never grumble when asked to meet ridiculously tight last minute deadlines (which they never miss) because others can't manage their time properly (because they've been drinking all afternoon again). To the powers that be, I have one word for one...Exodus. 

Rant over, but feck me I'm pished off. Anyways, this all seemed to make the week go really quickly in a bizarre way - mainly through being so busy, but also because it was broken up by a few cool events. One being the Captain gig on Wednesday. C and I went along with Chris and Louise who are a top couple and always good value. Chris and I find solace in that being of the same vintage and possession of similar record collections, we can waffle on about certain bands without the worry of getting a blank expression or heckle in response (Gaye Bykers on Acid anyone)? Captain were promoting their new single and impending album and their venue of choise was the Soho Revue Bar (formerly Raymond Revue bar) - probably the most famous strip club in Soho. A strange venue for a gig, but it worked. More suited to pole dancing and alternative comedy really, but it was a great intimate little gig. Captain were on best behaviour and form as it was a showcase gig, with loads of music industry types flittering around. Good fun, even with Chris heckling 'who are ya' randomly - he was miffed at paying £4:50 for a bottle of Sol, but it's no excuse! Coincidentally and rather sadly Paul Raymond died the day before the gig. Paul was the clubs founder and probably the most famous private club promoter (and soho land owner) in the world. So much more than a pornographer according to his contemporaries and fans - his club is very cool and we had a good night, so thanks Paul.

This weekend has been a relatively quiet one. Caught up with a few friends in East Dulwich, talked babies (one friend is pregnant), cooed over other friends' 3 month old (Ros and James - Josie is gorgeous) and at another's growing art collection (Banksy and Gilbert & George - Sam, you are a lucky man). We went into a baby shop and I was amazed to see CDs of Radiohead's Kid A and Metallica's Black album that have been specially modified by some cash-in merchant to stimulate baby in the early weeks. I was almost tempted to buy one just to see what said modifications were - surely the originals wouldn't do them any harm?! Saturday marked the first 6 months of marriage for C and I so to celebrate we went to try the new Brinkley's Kitchen down by the common. Nice place -  overpriced for what it is, but none too shabby. Had a Rosinni Burger - prime angus burger, with foie gras and caramelised onions - yuuuuum! I can't believe it is 6 months since we said 'I do' - it has flown which I am assured is a good thing. 

Spent today doing odd jobs, and cooking an uber Sunday Roast. Bought some lovely lemon scented Conifer trees for my window box as well, which look and smell great. I have a herb garden going strong in the other which made the roast all the more tasty! Film of the week was the excellent Micheal Clayton - a gripping thriller about the dark side of New York's legal world, and how ambition and responsibility can flip even the most grounded professional over the edge into lala land. George Clooney, Tom Wilkinson and Tilda Swinton are all great - well deserved awards there. 8.5/10. Currently curbing my mood for what is sure to be a frosty team meeting tomorrow morning. It only a job, but I spend 8-12 hours of my life there everyday, so I do tend to take it more than a little seriously. Anyway, settling down now to watch the genius that is Crash. 

Read of the week: Ska'd for life by Horace Panter - review to come soon.

Tunes of the week: Grace - Jeff Buckley; Fields of the Nephilim - Earth Inferno (reliving my murky goth past); Dubnobasswithmyheadman - Underworld; Nick Drake - Byter Layter; Ministry - Live: In case you didn't feel like showing up. I was quite angry at the time and needed a good dose of this.

 

Hey Jay!

Just a short post to wish Jay a speedy recovery. He's in bed and feeling a little under the weather after a short stay in the nasty old 'lopital.

We are thinking of you little man. Grab the opportunity to ask Mummy and Daddy for lots of chocolate and ice cream!

R & R

The first 'plan free' weekend for ages - what a treat. It's been another mental week of uncertainty, putting the world to rights over beers with colleagues (those that I have left anyway) and the deadlines so tight they would make a Scotsman look generous (apologies Caroline and my in-laws)! These were a few days where we could do whatever we liked, whenever we liked and it felt well deserved. 

Made the most of a lie-in, then after our boiled eggs with marmite soldiers we headed down to the South Bank. It was a sunny, but bloody windy day and 'the bank' was packed with tourists and Londoners alike enjoying the day. We mooched around the excellent open air book market, watched the skaters, looked at all the cool stuff that we can't afford in the design shops of Gabriels Wharf, then headed to the Tate Modern. First, must mention the chap who was sand sculpting a dragon on the beachy bank of the Thames - it was ace. The Tate Modern is always well worth a visit - the outer structure and interior turbine hall alone is worth a long gawp even when there is no artist in residence. Doris Saldeco's crack is still there and people amazingly are still getting stuck/falling/dropping litter in it - very impressive it is though. Had a good look around Duchamp, Manray and Picabia - three artists and friends from the Dada movement. Not 100% my cup of tea, but some impressive stuff. I loved Manray's light and exposure works and his optical art installations. Duchamp shone with his painting - lovely stuff and verging on Cubist on some pieces. His famous urinal was also there - I got told off for taking a picture of it!

The visual feast of the day was Spanish artist Juan Munoz. In his relatively short life (1953-2001) he was an unbelievably prolific sculptor and artist. His pieces are like a juxtaposition between realism and fabrication, and though his figures share space they also create a feeling of isolation and unease. The highlight for me was a room full of chinese men, all about 5" tall with identical expressions appearing to interact, but when you looked at them as individuals they seemed to be blending in purely out of the need for self preservation and confusion as to why they were there and how they got there in the first place. To walk amongst them was like entering a meeting place of clones where time has been frozen indefinitely mid punch-line - very powerful and thought provoking stuff. The other piece that really made an impression were two figures suspended from the ceiling, their ropes slowly spinning. They appeared contorted by the agony of their execution, whereas they were actually modeled on an act in a chinese circus where the performers use their teeth to take their weight over a long drop - Fantastic. I was told off again for taking photos (no flash mind). In fact myself and another chap would nod to each other when 'the management' weren't looking so we could sneak some covert shots or find blind spots where no one could see us - it was quite a rush and I felt quite naughty! 

Caroline was bought membership to the Tate as a leaving present, so we went up to the members bar on the roof for a drink and chill - great views of the city and of the huge chimney that dominates the building. Headed off to Ping Pong for a dim sum feast then got the tube home. Film of the weekend was Run Fatboy Run - good old Si Pegg on top form. Part slapstick, part Peggesque sharp one-liners, part heartwarming 'confused lad comes good' sort of thingy. Recommend it, but not sure what Thani Newton was doing in it - she was neither believable as Pegg's fiance or as their son's mother. A strange choice, but it didn't ruin the film. I'll give it a respectable 8/10.

Not much happened today - drove to Chelsea, laughed at the neo-yuppies driving their penile extensions down Kings Road hoping someone will be impressed, resentfully bought some smart shoes for work (and Bongo's wedding so not too resentful) and cooked my wife a fine chicken chasseur. 

Oh, and to all the people who are selling their charity tickets to Muse at The Royal Albert Hall on eBay for vastly inflated prices - shame on you (we were on the phone and t'interweb for ages and got nowt - sell them to us at face value)! Also, isn't the new editable dashboard front page on www.bbc.co.uk wicked?! Web 2.5?

Tune favs. this week: Love and Squalor by We Are Scientists, Televise - Demo, ( ) - Sigur Ros, Joy Division - Closer, Bill Hicks - Dangerous.