Perspectives and vanishing points

It's strange how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own crap and loose perspective of what is really important in life: Family, friends, loved ones, companionship, compassion, empathy, charity to name but a few. Last week was a disappointing one for me, but no one died, no one really lost anything that can't be replaced, no one's life really changed. There are more important things in this world, but peer pressure, the media and others dictate that it is the be all and end all for a happy life. Bollocks - sure we all need money to live, but there is so much more to it than that. Career means many different things to different people. I was always taught that it was very important which created pressure, but also motivated me, but at the end of the day is it only a bloody job. Admittedly I am lucky to do something I enjoy (even though I don't enjoy the environment I work in or respect the company I work for that much), but if  I could provide for my family, we had enough time for each other, hobbies and interests, and was content with myself I would be happy doing something else. Some of the happiest, wisest and most intelligent people I have the pleasure to meet in my 35 short years have shunned said pressures and achieved in other ways much more admirable in my eyes: Inspiring parents and teachers; Thought provoking artists; Selfless charity workers; Fearless moral activists; Confiding friends with infinite patience, compassion and wisdom. I would be proud to class myself among these.

What I'm getting round to is this: Maybe recently I've missed the point and have become quite insular about what really matters and selfish in my priorities - can I blame it on the rat-race and living in London. I think not, but some of the conversations at work make it all seem like a competition to stroke egos and congratulate material possession. Family and friends have always come first (even though I have been more absent in the years of late), but much of my waking time is spent pushing myself to make money for someone else, whilst pulling in a livable wage for myself and my wife. I don't have children (though I hope we will soon) so automatically have much less responsibility and worry than many others. In fact as much as I moan about long hours I probably have more free time than I realise and still procrastinate. I got to know someone better this weekend than I did before. The struggles she has had in life and continues to have made me so respectful of her and what she has achieved. You are an inspiring individual and I hang my head in shame at my current self-centered attitude to life. Just look at how many 'I's' are in these two paragraphs to confirm this! This ramble is not searching for absolution of any kind - it is just a recognition of values and truths I have always believed in, that have become blurred as of late. Hopefully it will help me focus into a better person and make a valuable contribution to the world as human being. 80 people died in Tibet today in the name of free speech, religion and equality. In a newspaper on the same day Peaches Geldof was moaning about champagne. What the hell is going on?

After all that my weekend reportage seems all a bit trivial and irrelevant, but here's is a quick round of another week that was: 

Work: Busy, stimulating, stressful, kerned, pre-flighted and actionscripted.

 

Drinks with friends: Heather...lovely evening and good drop of Ardmans.

  

Purchases: Sennheiser CX500 headphones...I hear clearly now the hiss has gone.

 

Visitors:  Stu and Sarah...top evening at Goucho Grill and various poncey Soho cocktail bars...great to see you guys and safe journey home.

Tunes: Duffy - Rockferry...No really, she has an incredible voice and the song writing is brilliant, also REM's free dukebox CD in this month's Q Magazine - check out Christopher Reilly's genius interpretation of Radiohead's Paranoid Android. 

Book: Ska'd for life by Horace Panter...excellent. Best muso-biography I've read for ages. A personable, but dry witted story-teller and great journey of young music fan into Ska mega star. Also, I learnt oodles about a genre and label (2-Tone) I knew little about. 

Signing off.